E dorit know what you mean by ‘Glory, Alice said. Humpty Dumpty smiled: “I meant ‘there's a nice, knock-down argument for you’. ” “But 'Glory doesn’t mean a nice, knock-down a r g umentV’Alice objected. When I use a word,” Humpty Dumpty said, “it means exactly what I choose it to mean, neither more nor less.” “The question is,” said Alice, “whether you can make words mean so many different things.” “The question is’’ said Humpty Dumpty “which is to be master, that’s all’/ Cf'rom Lewis Carrollk “Through the Looking Glass " QA t some prehistorically important moment a shrewd elder, grown weak of fang, picked up a rotten peach and flung it smartly into the face of an opponent. The pit left a bruise, quite naturally, and the world’s first secret wea- pon had been discovered . It is true, despite what can be heard to the contrary, that at one time the world was round, or prac- tically round. It all depended on the point of view. Looked at one way: round. Looked at another.- egg-shape. Some people said one thing and some people said another. So it was that in this world of Humpty Dumpty the inhabitants split into two camps, The Humptians and The Dumptians. Members of each group felt com- pelled to throw mud balls at the other. Occasionallysomeone was bitten. was an affair not without savor ated if a stone was imbedded But then another crafty man in an ordinary mud ball. ■ — — — jjome women protested that this was a poor way to run a world; the children were growing up with swords in their teeth and mud balls in their hands. “If we weren’t killing the enemy how would any- body make a living?" quite reas- onably asked the husbands. JBigger and bigger mud balls were rolled and bigger and big- ger stones were used. Catapults were invented, swords and ar- mor followed and soon war be- tween Humpty and Dumpty was steady business, arid not so pleasant//^ leaves a nasty taste in one’s mouth" said a Dumptian, spitting mud. (Hs years went on it became quite apparent that each side was run- ning out of people. There were old people enough, covered with bruises from the small mud ball days, but there was hardly anybody young enough to throw a mu d ball any bigger than a pumpkin. Determined to discuss this sad state of affairs, the King of Humpty dressed in his finest armor and rode out on a creamy white char- ger to meet the King of Dumpty who was also bejeweled in shining armor and who sat astride a coal black stallion. Some people thought they would fight each other and settle the affair but wiser heads pointed out that such an act was a bar- barous practice. “What',' exclaimed an elder, “What? Fight all dressed up like that? Why, they’d ruin their clothes!” The two Kings parleyed quite others families and exchanged a while. They drank many cups of gifts. The King of Dumpty got a tea together, ate four hundred jam jackknife and the King of Humpty cookies apiece, asked after each received a police whistle. None of this diplomacy did any good.The Kingdom of Humpty and the Kingdom of Dumpty remained as far apart as ever. “If we had any men left to fight. . . or any women, for that matter? said the King of Dumpty, "We would not have to go through this embar- rassing pussyfooting. ’’And so they parted with the matter unresolved. On. both sides, all the King’s horses (said the Kings men) and all the King’s men (said the horses) could not put Humpty and Dumpty known horse who wished his name withheld. GFor many years the Hump- tians and the Dumptians mere- ly exchanged insults and blew dust at each other. Then every- one grew too feeble for even such exercise. For the greater glory of Humpty, said the King of Humpty one morn- ing , Before I die, Iwouldjike to see peace established "Great,” cried his advisors. We will sue for peace this afternoon. “Not THAT way ’’objected the King, “We will have one last contest at arms. Our Champion to meet their Champion. Winner take ail’: Dumptians agreed, though in looking at the Humptians and looking at themselves, they could not think there was much for any winner to take m any case. 1 he morning of the Great Contest arrived. The only able bodied human in the Kingdom of Humpty was brought into the Kings court- yard.This was a small boy, not more than three years of age. “Is THAT all you could find to be our Champion ?” exclaimed the King. “Surely there must be a man here willing and able who will volunteer to ride out to meet the Dumpty Hero’.' But not an eye was raised and several advisors fainted dead away at the very thought. jjo without further ado the small onto the back of the horse. Then boy was given a bag of candy and every eye was turned on the plain lifted into the suit of armor and below where the two warriors it in turn was lifted, wired together would meet. e field was empty, but a small cloud of dust appeared on the far hill where lay the Kingdom of Dumpty. It was the Dumpty Knight coming to do battle. The King reached and gave the boys horse a whack. Off went the charger, the suit of armor jiggling and clanking , with the boy first looking out a sleeve hole, next out of the rear of the helmet, then through the waistband. Clankety-dank! Rum- ble rumble, the two laden horses charged toward each other. There was a thunderous crash! The horses met head on. Pieces of armor and dust flew in a bubbling cloud. The horses tumbled about and soon all was quiet. “Our champion is done for!” cried the Dumpty King, “We are lost!” old eyes. The two horses had risen unharmed and were quietly cropping grass. And sitting nearby playing on the soft turf where they had fallen was a li and a little girl. Lowly, leaning on canes and crutches, the people of Humpty and the people of Dumpty drew near to the scene of the conflict. There, when the dust had settled, a strange sight greeted their 'Wour champion? asked the Humpty King of the Dumpty King, nodding towards the girl. ‘Aye’,’ answered the King of Dumpty. ‘All we have left’.’ UUe’re a bit ahead," said the Humpty King, with satis faction. "Our boy seems t to be making friends faster than the girl’! “JVot so , "replied the other, “Our girl seems to have acquired his bag of candy"